Zettai, Zettai, Zettai Daijoubu
by Campino
Summary: Sakura reflects on her life and who she truly is. Very sad and sweet! I think this is nicely done. If you have heard Christina Rossetti's "Remember" poem, this is based off it. Please read!
1. Prolouge

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Zettai, Zettai, Zettai daijobu

Prologue

By: Sorano

Disclaimer: Let me tell you all, minna-san, if I owned Card Captor Sakura I'd be a very happy girl. But I think we all know this by know. CCS belongs to who I only wish I were, the extremely talented CLAMP. And don't forget Kodansha, they had a hand in it all too…

Author's BRIEF notes: I'm back! After a long vacation, I'm back to the writing scene with a brand new story! I've recently become infatuated with the post-series type of fics and just had to write one of my own! For those who are waiting for the next chapter of Cherry Blossoms Bloom Every Spring, you'll just have to wait a while longer! The next chapter will be worth the wait, though. I promise. Anyway, this actually a sort of continuation from Cherry Blossoms, but in no way do you need to read that fic first to appreciate it. Oh, and if you haven't seen the entire series, there's spoilers ahead. Enjoy!

P.S: I'm Kawaii Otaku on MSN if anyone wants to talk anime, fanfics, or anything, instead of just reviewing

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"Better by far that you should forget and smile; than you should remember and be sad."

-Christina Rossetti

Fate can be so terribly cruel. It has been harsh. But life was also good to them. Kissed them, embraced them and showered them with sweet gifts. Sakura Kinomoto has received many gifts. With happiness comes pain and suffering. There cannot be one without the other.

With her invincible phrase, nothing would ever bring Sakura down for long. Though she faced many sorrows and lived through much tragedy, life was happy. Life was good. Sakura wouldn't go back and trade in her destiny for anything in the universe.

Sakura had married her darling Syaoran-kun at the sweet age of seventeen and their first child, Mei-Ling was born that year. Sakura never went to university, being unable to finish High School. _All she _ever needed to know she learned from the Li elders, her guardians, and of course, Clow-san.

Though it was hard to part with her homeland and dearest friends, Sakura moved with her young family to Hong Kong, China so that her husband could properly take over the duties of Head Li. Sakura would never forget the day he had been named…that was the day he had proposed to her and the day her daughter was born. 

Sakura soon learned to love China, in many ways it reminded her of her home, though the cherry blossoms never bloomed here. Syaoran used to often tell her he'd get lonely without her flower to admire.

Sakura's days were filled with magic, learning, raising Mei-Ling-chan and enjoying life. She loved traveling around China and other countries picking up different types of magic besides her own. Sakura was anonymously the most powerful magician in the world. The tittle never went to the girl's head, Sakura remained her cheerful, naïve, kawaii self through her entire life.

Time passed, as it has always done, but Sakura could live forever if she wished. Clow had lived for hundreds of years, and Sakura could live for thousands if she wanted to. She wasn't sure she wanted to live that long. Other members of her life weren't immortal and she knew someday she'd want to be with them again.

Mei-Ling grew up as a beautiful young girl, chased by evil due to her charismatic Earth power, sweet as her mother, but as tough as her namesake. Sakura's young son, Yukito Aino, or Ai-chan as they called him, was a different story. Oh, Sakura loved that boy! He was a gentle little thing, always trying to please her. He had big dreams though and an undying curiosity. Ai-chan wasn't strong like his sister. It broke Sakura's heart the day we died and she swore she'd never have another child again.

When Mei-Ling moved out to start a family of her own, Sakura wasn't lonely. She had her dearest guardians to keep her company, as well as Ruby Moon and Spinel-Sun. Eriol-kun eventually died, his real age catching up to him, and Sakura took over the task of his guardian's care, determined never to have any of them sleep in some book ever again.

So life was happy. Sakura would always be happy, Clow Reed and fate had seen to that. Now brought up to a more current time, Sakura's story isn't over yet….

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I know, short prologue, but did you like, minna-san? Please keep reading and reviewing!!!!!!!!


	2. Sakura-chan and the uneaten pancakes!

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Zettai, zettai, zettai

By: Sorano

Chapter One- Sakura and the uneaten pancakes!

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

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"Remember me when I am gone away, 

Gone far away into the silent land; 

-"Remember" by Christina Rossetti

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Something was burning, that was obvious. Cereberos took another long sniff, trying to sort out the pungent smell. He could hear his mistress's all-too familiar "hoe!" and he tore off for the kitchen. He saw his mistress whip out a Sakura Card, her strongest power source, quick as silver. The Watery. In under a minute the entire sooty kitchen was restored it's usual grandeur and cleanliness.

Sakura flushed. "Gomen nasai, Kero-chan. I was trying to make breakfast the old-fashioned way, but you know me…" She laughed nervously.

"I see… You know, Sakura-chan," Cereberos growled gently. "You don't have to call me that anymore. I'm Cereberos now."

Sakura looked a little hurt. "Habit. You've been Kero-chan all these years. It's only been the past decade that you've insisted upon being called Cereberos."

"Now there is more threat to your safety," he reminded her.

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I."

"Gomen, Cereberos. I have not shown proper respect to your true nature. You're not a nuigurumi anymore."

"I'm at your bidding, mistress. Call me as you wish."

"Please don't start, Cereberos. You were no slave when I was ten and you aren't now either. We're friends, remember?"

"Hai. Zettai."

Sakura grinned. "I was going to make pancakes, but that's a flop. What do you feel like for breakfast, Cereberos?"

"Pancakes did sound good. Why don't you try that spell the gaki taught you last week?"

Sakura rolled her eyes at her immature guardian. She had been married to Syaoran for almost eighty years now and Kero-chan still called him 'gaki', the two of them had become closer and it was simple teasing.

"Good idea." Sakura began to recite the foreign words, some Euro language that Syaoran picked up on his travels. To some it would seem like nothing but a simple beginner spell, but Sakura was new to Western magic, it was so different from what she was used to.

When Yue stumbled, rather undignified for him, into the kitchen, the table was set with platefuls of delicious golden pancakes. Apparently Sakura had said the spell with a little too much enthusiasm and there were now more than one hundred pancakes piled up to the ceiling.

"Hungry Yue?" Sakura asked, eyes twinkling. She had long ago dropped the honorific 'san' from his name, but she could not bring herself to use 'kun', because it seemed not right for an angelic creature like Yue. Yue on the other hand, despite how much he adored Sakura, would never call her anything below Sakura-san at his. She had been trying to bring it down to 'Sakura-chan' for years to no avail.

"You know I do not eat," replied Yue, monotone voice even and calm. 

"Of course, but there's plenty to go around," Sakura giggled. "Oniichan said my energy would get me in trouble someday."

A frown appeared on Yue's beautiful face and he cocked his head to the side. "Of you order me to eat, you know I will." Sakura had never ordered him to do anything, or at least nothing against his will, in the ninety or so years he had been in service to her. Even Clow has tasks for him every now and then. The only thing Sakura asked of him was friendship.

Now Sakura's smile widened but she did not laugh as to hurt his feelings. She knew Yue would travel through hell and back just to pick up a pin she dropped if she asked it of him. He would cut off his wings for her gladly. "Ara, you do what please you, Yue. I am almost glad you don't have a big sweet tooth like Cereberos or Ruby Moon. Or," her eyes glowed. "Even like Spinel Sun. I don't know how Eriol-kun dealt with him all those years. Please, come sit down with us, Yue."

Yue watched his mistress' eyes glaze over then, as she remembered her friend. Eriol may have been sneaky at first, tricking her into changing the cards, but he was a good friend. Kind, chivalrous and smart, he cared about Sakura like a father. He was Sakura's only real connection to Clow Reed, the one who whom had set her on this path. Yue used to say that whenever he longed for his former master he just need look into Eriol's face and be filled with agonizing joy. Clow had never truly left them.

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"I'm sorry. It's just like the weather in which a snow woman would appear... I didn't mean to. If only I knew you are so scared of stories like that, I wouldn't have told it." "Sakura is so cute." "May I take a look?" "But...But... it's poorly done, and it looks weird, and it doesn't look like a bear..." " I quite enjoy handicraft. Maybe I can help you a little." "Don't laugh, okay?" " Why would I? You put in so much effort to make this." " Thank you. Eriol is so kind after all." 

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Poor Nakuru-chan and Suppi-chan had been devastated when their master passed away so many years ago, but Sakura suspected it never truly hit them the way Clow's death destroyed her sweet Yue. 

At the present moment, Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun had gone with Syaoran into England for a magical conference. He figured they needed to get out of the house for a while and see their old home.

Needless to say, Sakura was happy to have a smaller household. Her guardian's boundless energy was tiring at times. She was also surprised to find that she could indeed live without her husband for a while. She would never be lonely.

"I do," Cereberos spoke up.

"You do what?"

"Eriol dealt with Spinel by stuffing crackers in his mouth and locking him up in a closet until the cravings went away."

"That's not true," Yue objected. "You know Eriol-sama," he did not notice Sakura wince at the honorific tittle, "use to bond his mouth closed and stuff him inside a giant chocolate for hours."

"Did that work?" Sakura asked. "I would think Eriol-kun would be smarter than that."

"It was brilliant, mistress."

"But isn't that cruel?"

"Clow-san knew what was best for us."

"You do not know what cruel is, Sakura-chan."

"Hmm," Sakura mused, pushing was sad thoughts. Her eyes wandered to the stack of pancakes. "Hoe! Breakfast will get cold!"

"Then just warm it up!"

Sakura flushed. "Heh, ara, I knew that." She calmly sat down at the table and motioned for he guardians to join her, one on either side of her head. Cereberos had a special round chair to sit in, to avoid future accidents.

Cereberos immediately stuffed three cakes in his mouth and Sakura chewed on one placidly while Yue watched in sweet, content. His eyes never left his mistress's face, he was never as bored as he appeared to be. No, he loved to watch and learn and absorb everything around him.

Cereberos managed to finish off all the pancakes in less than ten minutes, his plate drenched in maple syrup, before Sakura was even able to finish her second.

"Ara," Sakura mumbled. "I guess I'm not that hungry this morning after all." Her guardians watched her with rapt, uneasy concern, their protective nature always alert.

"Daijoubu, Sakura-san?"

Sakura grinned. "E, daijoubu. Don't worry about me, you two." _What was Clow looking for in his guardians? Protection? Exercising his power? Or was, Clow-sama…Ara, Clow-sama, were you lonely? Had he created the creatures to be everlasting, devoted companions? Someone to take care of him? Clow-sama must have gotten lonely sometimes too then, he knew what it felt like. Clow could have lived forever…and all by himself. What would be the point in that?_

"Please, don't mind me." Sakura said. "Go ahead and eat. We can't let all this wonderful food go to waste just because I'm feeling a little queasy." It was true Sakura's appetite had left her, but that wasn't the reason she didn't want to eat. Her mind was now littered with unnesceray thoughts that pulled her heart in a hundred directions, begging that these painful memories were all she allowed herself to think of.

"Mistress-"

"Iie, please. Cereberos, eat. I need some time to think." 

Her voice was soft and gentle, but Cereberos could tell her mind was elsewhere. She would pay no more attention to her guardians this morning. Cereberos often saw her sitting in the garden alone, staring deep into the mika well, lips moving ever so slightly. He wondered if that was where she was heading now. She seemed to demand more time alone now, pushing her guardians away. _What did she need to be alone for? She had everything she needed…she had Yue and his love. Wasn't her days of worry over? Why wouldn't she relax?_

It seemed Yue was thinking the same thing. "What bothers you, Sakura-san? You do not look well."

Strong, brave, beautiful Sakura, she smiled at them. "Zettai daijoubu, my friend. I will be in the garden if you need me." She pushed her chair back and stood up, flowered robes swirling about her like an endless periscope. "Don't worry about doing the dishing. I will take care of them later. And don't eat yourself sick, Cereberos."

They watched her leaving, feeling her presence fade from their mists. Cereberos took a ventured a glance into the angel's icy eyes and was rewarded with an empty stare. No…not empty. He could never read those eyes. They returned their gazes to the plate of golden pancakes with some measure of uncertainty. Somehow they never seemed to know what to do when Sakura was not around. They always felt a little lost. It was almost funny, because Sakura's smile was all they needed, even if she was more frightened then them.

Perhaps that was what it was. Sakura had been anticipating the future for some time, preparing herself, while her guardians lived in fear that someday things would change. They could not bear it a second time. To be torn from the one they loved above else again was too much to ask. These amazing creatures were immortal and they were not human, but they could feel. Clow had not been able to recognize that, he had not known how his 'children' had loved him back.

One could almost hate Clow Reed for that. It was all his fault then… He started this! Had he not torn lives apart, set others on a destined path they had not option to choose? Hadn't he not bothered what was best for others? Clow-san….Clow-san….So many questions….What had he done to them? What it all for good then? Weaving, glistening, shimmering strands through the stars, his magic brought them all together. This simple quest turned into a life of adventure and love. It taught them what they needed to know, how to survive in a collapsing world. Anger was suffocated then and only a trace of yearning remained to tug on the hearts of all.

"I suppose we should eat then," Cereberos sighed, staring down at his plate with a slight air of distrust.

"I suppose we must."

"Ara, don't look like that, Yue! Sakura-san's cooking has greatly improved over these years, really! They are quite edible! Go on, try one!"

"Watashi e hae mata ketsubou," Sakura whispered amid the flowers. She was drowning in pink and white cherry blossoms. The beauty perfumed the air and Sakura drunk it all in, staring up at the azure sky, dotted with fluffy, creamy clouds. The day looked so good Sakura could almost eat it. The warm breeze rippled through her short, honey-gold hair and under her vividly patterned yukata before reaching up to kiss her face. It seemed to whisper to her, _come fly with me, Sakura-chan. _She heard it again even louder. _Join us again in the bright sky, Sakura-chan. We miss you. Join us and fill the world with your laughter._

The mistress of the cards sat up ever so slowly, world-weary, and reached into some back pocket for her sacred book, the one she had not let out of her possession since she was ten years old. The old, leather-bound book meant the world to her, because it bounded her to all she held dear and most of all- it was her reality, the one truth she believed in. "Everything I need…" 

The book opened gently, bound to Sakura's will and the pink-candy cards fluttered in the gentle-summer breeze, but did not escape their holdings. "Fly," the steady voice commanded and a single card was released. A simple incantation was enough for the card to dissolve into huge, white wings firmly attached to the woman's back. 

Sakura giggled ever so softly and twirled around. It had been many years since she flew, too many. How could she ever have thought she was too old? Sakura was ancient as time itself but as young as each new spring. Her white-wooden sandals kicked hard on the red-brown dirt and then she was soaring through the crisp air, up higher and higher. Her spirits lifted with every thermal she jumped and she yelped like a child again. Up here she did not need be reminded to live in the present, it was no use. 

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"Fly with me, Li-kun! It's the fastest way!" __

"Look! She's flying! She transformed fly!"

"This is so much fun, Kero-chan! Are all the Clow Cards like this?"

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Her home lay far below her now admist the quaint village, so tiny that it appeared like the toy village her brother used to play with. A perfect, plastic doll house, she thought wryly, knowing it to be no such thing. "Perhaps I could fly forever, live among the wind. I am the wind. I am the falling sakura blossom each spring. What am I now? Can my story only end in sadness? What will happen when the sakura exists no longer?"


End file.
